A long time ago, people used to tell magiacl stories of wonder and enchantment. Those stories were called Fairy Tales. Those stories are not in this book. The stories in this boor are almost Fairy Tales. But not quite. The stories in this book are Fairly Stupid Tales. I mean, what else could you call a story like "Goldilocks and the Three Elephants"? This girl walking throung the woods smells Peanut Porridge cooking. She decides to break into the Elephants' house, eat the porridge, sit in the chairs, and sleep in the beds. But when she gets in the house she can't climb up on Mama Elephant's chair because it's too big. And she can't climb up on Papa Elephant's chair because it's much too big. So she goes home. The End.
And you don't thnk that's fairly stupid, you shoud read "Little Red Running Shorts" or maybe "The Stinky Cheese Man." In fact you should definitely go read the stories now, because the rest of this introductio just goes on and on and doesn't really say anything. I just stuck it on the end to here so I could fill up the page and make it look like I really knew what I was talking about. So Stop now. I mean it. Quit reading. Turn the page. If you read this last sentance, it won't tell you anything.

Jack
Up the Hill
Fairy Tale Forest
1992